Contemplating one's own mortality isn't all it's cracked up to be...

Discussion in 'The Backstage' started by Biddlin, Oct 30, 2019.

  1. Biddlin

    Biddlin Well-Known Member

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    A couple of months ago a large black mole on my left hand, just behind my thumb's second joint, got scratched and started bleeding. It bled for about 2 weeks until I could get into a plastic surgeons office, where she removed it and a couple of smaller lesions from my chest and scalp. My dermatologist, an angel named Dr. Andrea Willey, did the original excisions and treated me with both great care and dignity. She then referred me to a surgical oncologist who eventually ( last Tuesday) got me into a general surgery where they took a little more from the hand to make sure the cancer was completely gone, did a skin graft and did a sentinel lymph node biopsy.
    Melanoma. I have been left in limbo, largely due to an execrable communication system between doctors and labs. Today at a follow-up with my Haemotological Oncologist, I found out that my lymph node was clear and I can take a small breather, (Recheck every three months or if anything pops up.)
    Now I'm not very good at being patient or a patient. I spend a great deal of time taking care of others and frankly between the exhaustion of moving out of one house into another, having a bout with the flu and worrying about my own health, I have been pretty worthless. On more than one occasion I found myself waking in the middle of the night unable to stop very negative thoughts about my future or more to the point my family's future should I take an early exit from this mortal plane. The relief I felt a few minutes ago was like having a Les Paul Custom lifted off my shoulders. I am still supposed to wait another week before playing guitar to accommodate the skin graft. doing my best to oblige, but my Five Moons is calling....
    So first thing: If you notice changes in a mole SEE YOUR DOCTOR! If you see new growths SEE YOUR DOCTOR.
    Second thing, talk to someone about your fears and concerns. Mental well being is important to healing.
    I'm going to be around awhile longer, so sorry, you guys get the benefit of my vast knowledge, infinite wit and curmudgeonly rants for the duration.
     
  2. Huntroll

    Huntroll Active Member

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  3. Biddlin

    Biddlin Well-Known Member

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    That Epi looks great!
     
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  4. pancake81

    pancake81 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for sharing. That’s a big part of the whole process. Keep your head in the game and communicate with your loved ones. Defeat and depression are just as dangerous as any thing we may be suffering from.

    Music is a great outlet. Don’t feel like playing? Listen!
     
  5. Biddlin

    Biddlin Well-Known Member

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    It's all I can do not to run into my music room and grab a guitar and play some John Lee Hooker. My surgeon says , "No!"I'm trying to follow orders. Not my strong suite!
    After surgery for trigger finger, I was playing the next day. As soon as she clears me, though.....
     
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  6. ventura

    ventura Member

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    :rofl:
     
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  7. Gahr

    Gahr Well-Known Member

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    Great to hear you are on the mend, Biddlin! I hope you stick around for a long time. Waking up in the middle of the night with your head full of negative thoughts is horrible. My wife had cancer last year (she pulled through, but has lost almost all control of her right leg and can't move around without crutches) and I hurt my foot badly, which incapacitated me for nearly five months. What saved our sanity was having people to talk to and focusing on the small things in life. I lost count of all the sleepless nights I had. Godspeed your recovery!
     
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  8. Huntroll

    Huntroll Active Member

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    But then again man . . .

    In reference to your first post,

    I know you like min-Etune stuff . . .

    Coincidence ?

    I sure hope not.
     
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  9. ventura

    ventura Member

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    Hang in there my man. I know a little bit about it. Prolly six years or so past my original scheduled expiration date. 2012 Gallbladder removal reveals incidental discovery of a tumor - an adenocarcinoma. That started the train- two more abdominal surgery's, (opened me up an took part of my liver and some nodes), CT Scans, needle jabs, chemo, and a lot of stuff that is TMI actually. Surgeon told me that if that accidental discovery wasn't made when it was, it'd been curtains for me, with-in a year. I have to remind myself of this every day. Every breath I take now is bonus.

    I bought an SG and joined this forum in the midst of going thru the surgeries. I always played (heavy) Les Pauls but the surgeries beat me up pretty good. I play (nice light) SG's, partly out of necessity now.

    I wrote a song about the ordeal, it's in this thread- http://www.everythingsg.com/threads/two-kinds-of-light.36144/

    I survived but, the Girl still left anyways. So it goes.
     
    Last edited: Oct 31, 2019
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  10. DrBGood

    DrBGood Well-Known Member

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    Hope for the best Biddlin.

    Got a tambourine ? :cool:
     
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  11. Bob Womack

    Bob Womack Active Member

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    I ruptured a tendon in my arm a while back and had to lay off. I found it calming to go in the studio, pull out a guitar, put it on a stand, and just enjoy its beauty. Maybe that'll help a wee bit for you?

    Bob
     
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  12. Biddlin

    Biddlin Well-Known Member

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    Bob, I can't look at 'em without wanting to play. I have a 61 note keyboard and have been using right hand only to play along with the television.
     
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  13. HackeIommi

    HackeIommi Active Member

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    Don't let the dark and hopeless thoughts go into your mind. We have to wrangle more about Gibson's QC, how Japanese even some Chinese axes better than USA Gibsons. We have to discuss and fight about 2019 Gibboclones man! I'll bet on how my Epiclone beat every USA Gibson of you Biddlin! You can't even be sick before you break a USA SG on my head!

    If you can, play slide to save your strength to break a Gibson SG on my head, sir. Despite my headache, I like broken, fixable free guitars :naughty:

    The weakness of a bad sickness is tough, stubborn people.

    All the best, sir! My prayers are with you!
     
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  14. Biddlin

    Biddlin Well-Known Member

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    Pics or it didn't happen, right?
    my left hand.jpg my left armpit.jpg
     
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  15. Biddlin

    Biddlin Well-Known Member

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    It has now been 13 days 12 hours since I played a guitar. I haven't taken a break this long since I went hermit for a year in 1973/74. I can't go into my new music room, because the though of all those lovely guitars is too tempting. Tomorrow afternoon I hope the surgeon says "Great, graft is fine, go forth and play." otherwise, I'll be ignoring doctor's orders.
     
  16. PixMix

    PixMix Well-Known Member

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    Wishing you a fast return to your normal playing routine, Biddlin.
     
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  17. HackeIommi

    HackeIommi Active Member

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    Sir, I feel like you are going well. Hang on, please! On the other hand, I think to play slide doesn't hurt your graft.
     
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  18. pedecamp

    pedecamp Well-Known Member

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    Give it a couple days then do some open tuning with a slide. :yesway:
     
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  19. Biddlin

    Biddlin Well-Known Member

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    I played a couple of songs last night and will play for a few minutes later this morning. Playing my 03 G-400 vintage, low weight and easy action.
     
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  20. rotorhead

    rotorhead Well-Known Member

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    I had a very similar experience about six years ago. Had a mole removed on my side and test results came back positive. Uggh.

    After contemplating pretty much everything negative for a few weeks, the docs called back and said there was a mistake...everything was good to go with my sample. Bastids!

    It does create an opportunity to reflect on what's important in life, though.

    The lessons I learned from it were that we're all gonna die eventually so make every day count. Plus, pay attention to your follow up appointments and hold those fuckers accountable. Get your second opinions!
     

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