Epiphones are cheap junk

Discussion in 'Epiphone SG' started by Col Mustard, Apr 1, 2019.

  1. Col Mustard

    Col Mustard Well-Known Member

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    It's time to slap a few cards down on the table, podners...

    Who ever had the brilliant idee to move Epiphone's fact'ry out of New York
    shoulda been keel hauled.

    Back in the fifties, when men were men and General Eisenhower was President
    the Epiphone guitar stood for something. So did the Cadillac, by thunder.
    Steel bumpers, steel dashboard, none of this crybaby stuff about smog or
    flyin' babies. Epiphone guitar were made in New York by Merkans, buddy.

    They shoulda never sold the comp'ny to those Gibson pukes.
    That started them downhill on a sled, and they ain't never recovered.
    Now they make 'em in Chinee, and the necks are so narrow that only a tiny
    little Asian guy can play one. Epiphone orta buy Gibson now... serve 'em right.

    None of them Epis will balance worth a plugged centavo, and they screech and mutter
    through the best of amps, cain't tell if ya turned the tone knob or not.
    Polyurethane finish makes the tone into pure mud. It feels sticky on yer frettin' hand
    an it grabs yer shirt an pulls it down the front of ya, till ya look like one a the
    three stooges. Useless...

    Bridges and all the hardware is nothin' but cheap junk, best thing to do is buy
    a used one, and strip it. Then put it together right, the Merkan way.
     
  2. arcticsg

    arcticsg Well-Known Member

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    Yup, just about finished sanding the poly off my '62 Casino.
     
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  3. Col Mustard

    Col Mustard Well-Known Member

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    no great loss...
    cave troll 5.jpeg
     
  4. DrBGood

    DrBGood Well-Known Member

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    I'll give you the same deal as for your SG :)
     
    Col Mustard likes this.
  5. AngelDeVille

    AngelDeVille Well-Known Member

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    The title says it all, nothing to add here...
     
  6. AngelDeVille

    AngelDeVille Well-Known Member

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  7. Chubbles

    Chubbles Well-Known Member

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    I think China makes what you ask for. If you ask for cheap crap, you get cheap crap. I've had great results recently with Harley Benton. Made in China, setup/fixed in Germany. Gotoh bridges are cheap but better than Epi junk. I won't be ordering from Epi any time soon.
     
    Fast Eddie likes this.
  8. SG standard

    SG standard Well-Known Member

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    Col Mustard complaining about a neck profile being unplayable in his hands?

    Did hell just freeze over??

    Did someone put acid in my drink???

    ...Oh yeah.

    April 1st.
     
  9. Col Mustard

    Col Mustard Well-Known Member

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    AND if anyone was offended by my April 1 tirade...
    'appy polly lodgies...
    Epiphones 2018@100.jpg
    I didn't really mean it.

    I was over on a Gibson guitar forum recently and they were
    agonizing over whether to ban a certain troll, who makes post
    after post badmouthing Epiphone, and posting pictures of Gibson
    guitars he doesn't own. Possibly a francophone kind of troll...

    I read a few of his numb-nuts posts, and then blocked him the
    same way I did here. Pages and pages of idiotic drivel disappeared.
    The guys on the Gibson forum were offended by his behavior when
    someone came aboard with a "new Epi Guitar Day" post, and he'd
    try and ruin it for them.

    There was a kind of familiarity to it that I didn't care for. *grins
    "round round git around, I get around..."
     
  10. NMA

    NMA Well-Known Member

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    May be an April Fool's thread, but there is some truth in what the man writes.

    I had an Epi SG. Was it crap? No. Was it of the quality of my Gibson SG? No.
     
    Col Mustard likes this.
  11. dub-setter

    dub-setter Well-Known Member

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    mhh ...i think i know this guy from somewhere.....:naughty:
     
  12. Col Mustard

    Col Mustard Well-Known Member

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    I have fallen arse over teakettle for my Epiphone ES-339 P-90 pro, Wolf...

    NMA has the right of it... it was never crap, and it also didn't have the
    elegance that the Gibson version of the same guitar will boast.
    (But the Gibbie cost eight times as much, and they're both plywood guitars!)

    But when I bought that one, I didn't care. Mine's a 2014, which I bought
    in like May 2015 when the sh*t storm was exploding all over the forums
    about Gibson's 2015 shenanigans... the price increase! the wider neck!
    the zero fret apparatus with pot metal parts! the robot tuner boondoggle!
    OMG! OMG! OMG! WTF GIBSON!
    crybaby 17.jpeg

    The negativity was so palpable, even on this well mannered forum
    I just couldn't stand it. So I clicked off, and went hunting.
    What I found was really fun to play, and looks killer, and had
    POTENTIAL...
    Caledonia 2016@100.jpg
    That's what I like best about Epiphone guitars. They have potential.
    They are serviceable as issued, and guys with very little money can get
    themselves a guitar that will do the work. Hard to beat, and Epiphone
    sells boatloads of them on this business plan.

    Epiphone really should buy Gibson from the bankruptcy court IMHO... *grins

    If you love elegance, and you can afford it, by all means get a Gibson.
    But if you want to rock, and you don't have money to burn, get an Epi.
    Epiphones get the job done. Above, that's the working man's ES-339.

    AND if you like to work on guitars, and admire ye silk purse made from
    ye pig ear... get an Epiphone and upgrade it to the nines.
    Epiphone guitars respond to upgrades really well.

    That's what I have done with my two beauties, and it makes me love them
    more when I play them. And they reward me with great music, and fine
    playability, and stable necks. I believe Epiphone guitars have come a long
    way since Gibson first started making them overseas.

    There you have it... Happy April 3
     
  13. Ray

    Ray Well-Known Member

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    At least the regular solid body models seem have gotten worse, thats my impression from reading on the web. Not few complaints and reports of shot down expectations have appeared here on on ETSG either..
    But they ARE cheap ... at least my -95 G400 is still the same, it was real cheap and "mediocre +" for at cheapo guitar back then, its totally mediocre to this day.
    Agree with Col Mustard. There are quite a few nice models, Signature models and such (I'd like to have a Epi ES "Lucille"..), and Epi electrics cernainly have potential, but IMO Epi guitars construction and hardware nowadays often seem to suffer from sloppiness or carelessness.
     
    Last edited: May 8, 2019
    Lunacy the Faded likes this.
  14. Biddlin

    Biddlin Well-Known Member

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    Fortunately I don't need the button to ignore blatherskites and numpties.
    I just played a 2018 Epi LP Pro that holds its own with most of the Gibsons out there. Fit and finish are stellar and I think it even has Gibson 57 pickups.
    What's not to like?
     
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  15. Logan

    Logan Well-Known Member

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    Most people here quietly agree with you. To add more fuel to the fire; I own an Epiphone and it is my least played guitar. I've played literally hundreds of Gibsons and Epiphones (because I work at a music store), so much so that it isn't exciting to me when we get a run-of-the-mill guitar in anymore, sometimes even limited guitars don't excite me. Epiphones are great guitars, sound great, and play great for the price point, but I can't get on with the finish. The gloos finish on the Chinese ones at least (I have not had enough experience with Korean Epiphones) makes me feel like I'm playing a cheap toy. Also, the neck profiles tend to have a box-ey shape, which I am not a fan of. Doesn't mean I'll look down on someone for playing an Epi; quite the opposite. I'm envious that they can get over that wall that was immediately put up after I got my 2015 SG Standard.

    What's weird to me is it doesn't happen with all poly finishes. For example, an American Strat or Tele doesn't have that same sticky-ness or plastic feeling that an Epi does; neither does a Squier (at least IMHO), or a Satin Epiphone. But, I can't get along with the neck profiles, which is why I probably won't ever own a Rickenbacker (except the 1993Plus :fingersx:). Now, I know people here won't agree with me, and I'm not trying to change people's opinion. I respectfully disagree with the people here, because, at the end, it's all about the music :dude: :jam:
     
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  16. donepearce

    donepearce Well-Known Member

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    I have two Epiphones, a Strat, a Tele, a Les Paul and a PRS. The Epiphone SG sits among them perfectly, and doesn't disgrace itself in any way. It's build quality is certainly streets ahead of my Gibson Nighthawk, which has been nothing but a PITA, and never gets played.
     
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  17. Bad Penguin

    Bad Penguin Active Member

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    I personally was never a big fan of Epi's. "Yeah, ok, they're ok-ish I guess" was my attitude. I then picked up as a wedding gift a 79 Epi Genesis. After playing it against Gibby's that were 3 and 4 times the price, this is the one that came home with me. It gave me that sound that was buried in my head, while the Gibby's didn't.
    Fast forward a few years, and I came across a 98 Samick made Sheraton II. Seriously, after comparing it to 335's that cost 10 times more, the Epi felt better and sounded better, despite of the Samick pickups, which I actually love that bit of mud in them.
    A year or so later, a Peerless made Casino came into my life. I used to own a 67 Gibson 330, and this Epi was every bit as good as in terms of feel and playability. (A side note here: I DID have to do a fret level, and replace the rattle trap of a bridge.)
    Then yesterday, while visiting my fav vintage place here in Florida, I came across a '14 Epi Lee Malia Paul Custom. Who is Lee Malia? Not a clue, nor do I care. ( Kind of a longish story here. If you was to skip on it, feel free to read after the last parenthesis. Walked into the shop, Owner was there, and so was the Lee, and a Epi Black Beauty Paul, you know, the 3 pickup one. After checking both out, I HATED the Beauty! Absolutely effing hated the damn thing. It was set up brilliantly, maybe better then my own setup, but it was just..... abysmal. No tone, no soul, no spark. I then tried out the Lee, with gunky strings and a setup done by a half trained monkey, and felt..... magic. VERY good bones, decent tone, but just felt right. The owner, who knows me from spending LOTS of cash there, said that his idiot brother took them in a trade. The only Epi's he wanted in his store were ones from before the mid 70's, and that for 500 I could have both. Fair, but I didn't want the Beauty, just the Lee. Some negotiating later, and I walked out with it for 275.)
    So now I have 4 Epi's that I would put up against their more expensive cousins any day of the week! Cheap junk? they can be. That LE model comes to mind, and each time it does, I cringe and shudder. But there are some damn nice ones out there, IF you take the time to look for them.
     
  18. JESUSG

    JESUSG Member

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    Break up that wall of text.
     
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  19. DrBGood

    DrBGood Well-Known Member

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    :io:
     
  20. Col Mustard

    Col Mustard Well-Known Member

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    love love... hate hate... yes it's true that Gibson excellence and elegance
    can spoil a player for other types of instrument. USA Fender guitars have that
    too, and the MIM versions need some TLC before they can hold up, by comparison.
    BUT, like Epiphones, they respond really well to upgrades, and can make great music.

    Me, I believe we get too lofty sometimes, especially here in USA where the best
    of these are made. Whenever I run up against that, I like to go looking for a video
    of Weesay... the blind Liberian street musician, who sings to get money because he's
    blind and can't do much else.

    He made his own guitar out of an oil can, and some scrap lumber. Coat hanger frets,
    recycled automotive cabling for strings. I like to listen to Weesay if I feel too strongly
    about the superiority of Gibson elegance, or even Epiphone practicality.



    Here is an example of what the human spirit can do: make music out of nothing.
    Weesay lives in a world of nothing. Grinding poverty, filthy crowded streets, people
    who don't give two hoots if he lives or dies...

    Here is an example of the fact that perfection is an illusion, but music is real.

    If our country collapsed from too much corruption and war, too much greed and
    too much division... if the power went out and stayed out for a decade or two,
    if the paper money was no good, and none of the lies that assail us were repeated
    any more... if all the mass media and the internet and all the little screens went dark...
    People would still make music.

    And we would make music out of whatever we could. It wouldn't matter if we
    owned a $4000 Les Paul, because the amps didn't work any more. But we would
    still make music. The human spirit is like that. We have been making music since
    before we had any "civilization." And we will do so after our so-called 'civilization"
    is gone.

    Because music will get us through times of no 'civilization" better than
    "civilization" will get us through times of no music.
     
    Johnny Bagadonuts, Dale, DanB and 2 others like this.

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