Help! Bigfoot urinated on my new SG!

Goldmember

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(Caution: Please be aware that what I'm about to share with you is of a nature so shocking and disturbing, that reader discretion is advised.)

Fellow ETSG forum members,

Upon entering the kitchen this morning, I encountered a Sasquatch taking a piss on my new SG Faded! I had left it there on its stand after doing some intonation tweeking last night. I was so shocked and overcome with despair and anguish, that I did not think to grab my iPhone for a pic. I may have even lost consciousness for a few moments. Once finished with the final shake, he turned, looked at me while holding a drink in his left hand, then walked out the back door. I screamed, "What the f***?!?", and he stopped and turned around for a few seconds. I was able to pull myself together and snap one single image of Bigfoot before he ran and jumped over the fence and disappeared. I'm still trying to recover from this traumatic experience. Please, what do I do now? My SG reeks of coffee and urine, and I'm completely verklempt!

Bigfoot at Starbucks.jpg
 
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Bullfrog

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Haven't we been through this before?

Geez, you guys don't know sh!t about Sasquatches.

It's a classic Sasquatch territorial dispute and you have been served.

You must now find his lair. Enter undetected and piss on his rug.

It's the only way out of this. Time is of the essence.
 

ScottMarlowe

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37003306.jpg
 

RVA

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He probably could not hold it long enough to get to the bathroom. It is hard to blame him. After all, do you know how long the lines are at Starbucks?
 

Westernrider

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After you have retaliated in this territorial dispute, you must be brave and take the next step.

Pump.jpg Yes, Sir, you must use the official Gibson Pump Polish on your fine SG that has been baptized by the Golden Shower.
 

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Chubbles

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Little known fact: Gibson used Bigfoot pee on all early Les Pauls. That's where the great tone came from.
 

Goldmember

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I had to deal with Sasquatch the first time way back in '84 near my parents' house in Otterlo, the Netherlands. He attacked my frickin' car while I was backing up with a camper hitched to the bumper. Before I could react, he fled, leaping over a 3 meter fence and disappearing into the nearby woods. Now, I've got to deal with him again...in Texas? This time, it's a pissing WAR! :mad:
 

alexander paul

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just a friendly heads up, you & sasquatch are pissed off & he might have another weapon up his, a his a... true story, i was working @ a place with a rat problem so i set a rat trap attached to a sapling with baling wire... that night a bear put his nose in it... how do i know this? next day a 5 foot circle was annihilated... 1 & 2 inch saplings splinted to the ground with more damage than a bomb... the trap was still there covered with a soccer ball pile of omnivore excrement... so goldmember urine might not be the only option/weapon that's involved here...

iu
 

Kep

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I had a similar challenge recently trying to teach my dog (pictured at left - that's not really me) not to use my drum set as a piss pole.

It turns out that the chrome Ludwig was using in the 60s is not as resistant to errr acidic liquids as one might think.

As for your guitar you must soak it in Tomato juice for 11 hours and then rub it with garlic or the beast will think it is his.
 

Raiyn

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All joking aside, this is what you need.
41EPukafeIL._SY355_.jpg

Nature's Miracle. Occasionally one of our Sabertooth Cats will have an accident, this stuff works. Apparently it's good for the Hound of the Baskerville's as well.
 

smitty_p

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Ahh, yes, Goldmember, it appears you have been the victim of the "Urban Bigfoot."
 


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