Investment Tips for 2009!

Discussion in 'The Backstage' started by SGPlayer, Sep 30, 2008.

  1. SGPlayer

    SGPlayer Member

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    Investment tips for 2009



    Maybe I shouldn't give you some of these, but here goes:

    Investment tips for 2009 for all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.



    Watch for these consolidations in 2009.



    1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. Will merge and become:

    Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.



    2.) PolyGram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become:

    Poly, Warner Cracker.



    3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become:

    MMMGood.



    4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become:

    ZipAudiDoDa



    5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become:

    FedUP.



    6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become:

    Fairwell Honeychild.



    7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become:

    PouponPants.



    8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become:

    Knott NOW!



    And finally



    9. Victoria's Secret and Smith &Wesson will merge under the new name:

    TittyTittyBang Bang
     
  2. Six String

    Six String Moderator Staff Member

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    I like your investment strategies......... ;D
     
  3. Kevy Nova

    Kevy Nova Well-Known Member

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    I also heard that Stop & Shop is going to merge with A&P Supermarkets. It'll be called Stop & P.
     
  4. oldrockfan

    oldrockfan Well-Known Member

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    teehee, not what I was expecting but funny nonetheless. ;D
     
  5. SGPlayer

    SGPlayer Member

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    What'd you think? That I was gonna tell you to send ME all your money and I'd look after it for you?? :?
     
  6. jetlag

    jetlag Member

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    [quote author=SGPlayer link=topic=17904.msg220139#msg220139 date=1222849230]
    What'd you think? That I was gonna tell you to send ME all your money and I'd look after it for you?? :?
    [/quote]

    ...yes?

    ;D
     
  7. ricardo_vicente

    ricardo_vicente Active Member

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    Here are some genuine investment statistics:

    If you had purchased £1000 of Northern Rock (UK bank) shares one year ago it would now be worth £4.95, with HBOS, earlier this week your £1000 would have been worth £16.50, £1000 invested in XL Leisure would now be worth less than £5, but if you had bought £1000 worth of Stella Artois one year ago, drank it all, then took the empty cans to an aluminium re-cycling plant, you would get £214. So based on the above statistics the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and re-cycle.
     
  8. oldrockfan

    oldrockfan Well-Known Member

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    I'm thinking real estate may be the idea right now. Seems to be at record lows these days.
     
  9. bradsure

    bradsure Active Member

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    [quote author=ricardo_vicente link=topic=17904.msg220152#msg220152 date=1222880166]
    Here are some genuine investment statistics:

    If you had purchased £1000 of Northern Rock (UK bank) shares one year ago it would now be worth £4.95, with HBOS, earlier this week your £1000 would have been worth £16.50, £1000 invested in XL Leisure would now be worth less than £5, but if you had bought £1000 worth of Stella Artois one year ago, drank it all, then took the empty cans to an aluminium re-cycling plant, you would get £214. So based on the above statistics the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and re-cycle.

    [/quote] O0 :dance: O0
     
  10. John J

    John J Active Member

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    [quote author=SGPlayer link=topic=17904.msg220126#msg220126 date=1222820178]
    Investment tips for 2009



    Maybe I shouldn't give you some of these, but here goes:

    Investment tips for 2009 for all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.



    Watch for these consolidations in 2009.



    1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. Will merge and become:

    Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.







    6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become:

    Fairwell Honeychild.






    [/quote]I think you're a little late with these two. I think my pension fund already lost a bundle on them.
     

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