SGs Suck

Discussion in 'Gibson SG' started by Col Mustard, Apr 1, 2019.

  1. Col Mustard

    Col Mustard Well-Known Member

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    All right, I've really had it. Especially today.

    The Gibson SG has got to be the stupidest design any of us
    has ever been saddled with. I don't know how it has managed
    to survive so long. It should have been consigned to the
    dust bin of history decades ago.

    Uncomfortable, ugly, clumsy, unbalanced, old fashioned, outmoded
    and, well... just dumb. These guitars are just lightweights.

    Not only does the tone manage to sound muddy and tinny at the same time
    (and how is that possible anyway?) but the SG neck also is both too chunky
    and too whippy. They just can never get it right.

    The placement of the controls seems awkward and hard to use, compared with
    just about any other instrument. How many times have we all turned the
    wrong knob? Yeah, you bet. And instead of being able to flip the toggle fore and
    aft, which would make sense, we have to remember that up means neck and
    down means bridge. Try doing that when the smoke bombs are going off on top of
    the mains, and the girls are dancing in the aisleways, waving their arms in the air.

    And I wish Gibson would make some interesting colors, instead of the same red
    they've been using since dinosaurs were slithering around under the stage.

    I'm disgusted with this guitar, and I'm going to play my Telecaster.
     
    Layne Matz, 58pit, brazilnut and 3 others like this.
  2. cerebral gasket

    cerebral gasket Well-Known Member

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    Happy April Fools Day!
     
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  3. arcticsg

    arcticsg Well-Known Member

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    ...the Ash you say

    [​IMG]

    :D
     
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  4. Col Mustard

    Col Mustard Well-Known Member

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    The telecaster is so obviously a superior platform...
    it's been in continuous production since 1951, I'll bet hundreds of
    them have been made. Telecasters still are current, and SGs
    just look passe.

    That whole set-neck boondoggle is nothin' but hype an spin.

    That whole fragile-neck boondoggle is just planned obsolescence.

    I'm tryin' to set y'all straight here, even if i bust a few balloons.
    Don't git me started on neck dive...
    10 onstage01-05-13@100.jpg
     
  5. AngelDeVille

    AngelDeVille Well-Known Member

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  6. DrBGood

    DrBGood Well-Known Member

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    OK, this deal is valid until midnight tonight.

    I'll give you $3000 cash for each guitar you complain about today. Name 'em, I'll spit the môney môney môney.
     
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  7. AngelDeVille

    AngelDeVille Well-Known Member

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  8. Kerry Brown

    Kerry Brown Well-Known Member

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    This is not a telecaster. It is a wannabe Les Paul. Get real Gibson. If you want a telecaster it needs telecaster pickups and electronics. :)
     
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  9. Col Mustard

    Col Mustard Well-Known Member

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    That's not a Les Paul...

    THIS is a wannabee Les Paul:
    Zoot suit Les Paul.jpg
    I get another three thousand for bringin' up this piece a cat dragged Birch an plywood with strings attached.

    I mean really. you kin put that three thousand in my Monopoly acc't.
    Along with my 'Git outa jail free" card.
    This one's got to be the gol-durnedest eyesore that ever left Nashville on
    a flat bed. Even the SG version never looked this Garish. Like to see Mr.
    Les Paul his own self, in a tuck-Seedoe, playin' this 'un... make yer blood
    boil, well I should say.

    Now friends lemme tell ya what I mean:
    Ya got one, two, three, four, five, six... strings on a git-tar
    Strangs that makes the diff'rence, 'tween a gen-a-mun an' a Bum
    with a capital B and that rhymes with G
    an that stands fer ESS-GEE...

    Happy April 1st...
     
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  10. PixMix

    PixMix Well-Known Member

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    Late to the party, but here are couple of pics in the name of peacemaking:

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
  11. Chubbles

    Chubbles Well-Known Member

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    $3000, sure, you can have my Epiphone. Deal!!!
     
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  12. NMA

    NMA Well-Known Member

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    An obvious April Fools thread, but there is much truth in it.

    1) The Telecaster's selector switch offers far more than the SG's. All three positions of the Tele are very different and very useable. The SG? Come on, just the bridge position.

    2) The Telecaster has a very distinct sound. One can hear it on any song and guitarists (and some non-guitarists) can instantly say, "That's a Telecaster." SG? The SG has no distinctive tone. It's sound really comes from overdriving an amp. (Angus's SG tone doesn't exist, his tone is really a Marshall tone.) Nobody can listen to a song and instantly say, "That's an SG."

    3) The SG really is associated with one genre of music: rock. The Telecaster is associated and used in a wide variety of music: rock, country, reggae, punk, ska, funk...
     
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  13. DrBGood

    DrBGood Well-Known Member

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    That was a one shot deal for the Colonel. :h5:
     
  14. Chubbles

    Chubbles Well-Known Member

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    Rats, I have a low end epi I've been dying to dump for $3,000.
     
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  15. brazilnut

    brazilnut Well-Known Member

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  16. brazilnut

    brazilnut Well-Known Member

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    Telecasters don't have horns, either. Who needs a horny guitar?
     
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  17. DrBGood

    DrBGood Well-Known Member

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    Maybe next year, if your azz is as smart as the Colonel's ?
     
  18. SG standard

    SG standard Well-Known Member

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    I love that! Any info on it?
     
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  19. NMA

    NMA Well-Known Member

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    Ok, OK. The SG wins in the looks department.

    Man, this is one ugly guitar:
    [​IMG]

    Man, this is one gorgeous guitar:
    [​IMG]
     
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  20. PixMix

    PixMix Well-Known Member

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    This is the thread that discusses it. I don't have any info on it.
     
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