How To Relic

[SG Lou]

I don't know why one would want to do this to a perfectly good Gibson but I have had questions through PM's and email on this subject.

As a memeber and mod at the ReRanch Guitar Refinishing Forum I figured I'll link their How to relic section and pin this topic for all to see if info is required.

http://reranch.com/reranch/viewtopic.php?t=9079

 

[doveman]

My vote ... buy it and play it for 30 or 40 years. Treat it right. :)

 

[LOTF]

[quote author=doveman link=topic=13571.msg175899#msg175899 date=1179266193]
My vote ... buy it and play it for 30 or 40 years.  Treat it right.  :)
[/quote]
No, no, no, you've got totally the wrong approach to this, Doveman! All your plan will do is give you a "closet classic," not a true relic.

First of all, 30-40 years isn't necessary.  In fact, if you follow the regimen I'm about to set forth, it can be easily accomplished in 5.  If you're really conscientious, even a year or less.

You need to play the guitar often and every time you play, drink lots of beer.  And let all your friends, who presumably are also drinking lots of beer and may not even know how to play guitar, play it as well.  

When you're done playing, don't wipe down your guitar or put it in its case.  Instead, leave it out on the stand or even better, just lean it precariously against your amp.  Having a dog in the house can be of great assistance in this phase.  

I personally have found that playing in a wheelchair really is useful for relic-ing.  The exposed metal parts of the chair are just fabulous for imparting "character" to one's treasured axe.  But those of you who aren't so blessed need not worry.  A large, tacky, ostentatious belt buckle can also work wonders.

For the really fanatical, advanced techniques such as puking on your guitar right before you pass out and accidentally burning the finish with lit cigarettes produce a vintage effect that is well worth the trouble.

If you will just follow these simple suggestions, an authentic, lovingly relic-ed, battered old guitar can be yours for a fraction of the cost you'll pay the factory or some tech for some phony, half-assed "relic-ing."  

Rock on!!!!!

 

[spacefuzz]

[quote author=LOTF link=topic=13571.msg175926#msg175926 date=1179291635]

A large, tacky, ostentatious belt buckle can also work wonders.

[/quote]

Trust me it works.

 

[LOTF]

Now that's what I call a classic relic-ing tool!!! roolin: roolin: roolin:

 

[Lex Lurid]

Yup LOTF, there is no better Relicing Tool known to man than a Wheelchair!!!! Trust me, I know! All those exciting "bits" that stick out and always catch your guitar no matter HOW careful you are. Having seen the "relicing" job that a chair can do to a few Doorways in a 1600th Century Cottage it really is astounding that the Guitars survived at all!! I also offer a superb Relicing Service for Cabs too......I had a 4X12 that looked like it had been dragged a mile or so behind the Truck rather than being loaded.....All courtesy of the Wheelchair and confined spaces.

Pip Pip
Lexie :)

 

[EveryMn]

[quote author=doveman link=topic=13571.msg175899#msg175899 date=1179266193]
My vote ... buy it and play it for 30 or 40 years.  Treat it right.  :)
[/quote]
What if we die, or it gets stolen before then?

 

[Lex Lurid]

"You'll" Be Relic'd then!! :coolsmiley:

 

[Lex Lurid]

Of Course.....There IS another way to Relic?

 

[Lex Lurid]

Seriously though, I have a few pictures showing the various stages that my "Rory" Clone went through from start to finish, so if they would be of interest I would be only too happy to share them.

Pip Pip
Lexie :)

 

[EveryMn]

[quote author=Lex Lurid link=topic=13571.msg175937#msg175937 date=1179306081]
Seriously though, I have a few pictures showing the various stages that my "Rory" Clone went through from start to finish, so if they would be of interest I would be only too happy to share them.

Pip Pip
Lexie :)
[/quote]
I'm interested.

 

[spacefuzz]

[quote author=EveryMn link=topic=13571.msg175952#msg175952 date=1179329196]

I'm interested.
[/quote]

Myself as well. I was considering picking up a cheapie strat and beating the hell out of it.

 

[Lex Lurid]

Ok well I am more than willing to show you what went on behind the scenes, BUT, I would be MUCH happier to do this once I have brucewayne's permission. This is after all HIS space, so just hang on a bit and then I am sure that all will be revealed Guys

 

[Daniel]

if he wants it some of the guys down at Talkbass (another forum where I hang out) put up a good PDF in their Luthier's Corner about how to age a guitar, I could link with BW's permission.

 

[LOTF]

[quote author=Lex Lurid link=topic=13571.msg175932#msg175932 date=1179300864]
Having seen the "relicing" job that a chair can do to a few Doorways in a 1600th Century Cottage it really is astounding that the Guitars survived at all!![/quote]
1600th Century???? Where have I been???? I thought we were only up to 21!

But seriously, the doorways in my mom's old house in Vermont (which only dates to the turn of the last century) managed to get similarly relic-ed. I'm doing my level best to see that my new '61 RI isn't "relic-ed" before its time, however. It does help that I've stopped drinking beer.

I'd be interested in seeing your Rory clone, Lexie. Considering how much old Rory "relic-ed" his Strat, I'm thinking that dragging it behind a car is a good start.

It's a damn shame he also had to go and "relic" his liver....

 

[vkgphil]

[quote author=LOTF link=topic=13571.msg176005#msg176005 date=1179364954]

1600th Century????  Where have I been????  I thought we were only up to 21!

[/quote]

depends on your starting point i imagine

 

[Rooney]

[quote author=LOTF link=topic=13571.msg176005#msg176005 date=1179364954]
I'd be interested in seeing your Rory clone, Lexie. Considering how much old Rory "relic-ed" his Strat, I'm thinking that dragging it behind a car is a good start.

It's a damn shame he also had to go and "relic" his liver....
[/quote]

Copying Rory's easy, just wait for a long rain storm and throw your strat out there.

 

[Lex Lurid]

Er.......Right.......Er.......Not! :coolsmiley:

 

[Rooney]

Is it that obvious I have no experience in relicing? ;D I prefer the play it to death meathod personally but I love seeing all these relicing projects.

 

[Lex Lurid]

OK......New Topic being started called "Rory Clone" :coolsmiley: